Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to work with truly inspirational leaders who fostered growth, empowerment, and integrity. However, I’ve also encountered toxic management and workplace cultures that made me question my career path and the people around me.
Existing in a toxic environment (and sometimes, that’s all you can do) can cause even the most confident person to become the most paranoid. This is because, once toxic leadership is accepted, embraced, and promoted as a way of getting things done, you’ll see it permeate the entire organisation—from the top right down to the bottom. By this point, any attempt to call out toxicity is often met with responses like, “Maybe the problem lies with you,” “That’s not what our values state,” or “I don’t recognise that behaviour.”
This complete denial, especially when it comes from the top, should be a clear call to action—a signal that it’s time to dust off your CV. But why do some of us stay in these environments?
Sadly, it’s often because we’ve internalised the rhetoric. We start believing that we are the problem, or we hold onto the hope that things will get better. We tell ourselves, “If I over-deliver on this project, maybe my manager will listen,” or “When the new leader comes in, things will improve.” But all of these promises rely on others to fulfil them, rather than on our own actions.
So, how can you avoid becoming a victim of workplace toxicity? While you cannot stop a workplace from becoming toxic, you can prevent the toxicity from eroding your self-esteem. The goal of a toxic manager is to make you question yourself so you won’t question them. They start with manipulation, and when that fails, they’ll quickly move to devaluing your worth, both publicly and in one-on-one situations. Their approach will be subtle when you’re alone, but almost blatant when in front of others.
Your response to this should always be self-advocacy. Start by reflecting on the “why.” It could be that your leader or the person exhibiting toxic behaviour is simply a narcissist, or perhaps they themselves are living in fear and being manipulated. Whatever the reason, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Remember, they had a choice, and so do you. You can either believe the negative rhetoric, or you can stand firm in your self-belief, knowing that how you feel is valid. While the toxic manager may say, “That’s just your perception,” you can confidently respond, “That may be the case, but it’s my reality—and therefore, you have a responsibility to understand why.”
Remember, no one else can advocate for your worth better than you can. Trust your instincts, stand firm in your reality, and don’t let others dictate your value. If you’re in a toxic environment, it’s time to put your wellbeing first—whether that means speaking up, seeking support, or moving on. Your voice and confidence are your greatest tools for navigating any challenge.
“In a toxic environment, you have to be your own best advocate.”
Tom Rath
